What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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The joke below me is retarded

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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