How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

thumb_up thumb_down -1

69.... is a number

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man without problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -45

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +88

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +86

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops