Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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