A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

You're on fire.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...