theres a fat guy

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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