why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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