How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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make me a sandwich!

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Poop.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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