Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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666

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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