Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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mitt romney

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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21

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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