I AM DISSAPOINTED

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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