I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +87

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +39

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +37

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Where does a hobo live? A box.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops