knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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guess what?

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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