A baby seal walks into a club...

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops