What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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mitt romney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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