A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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You're on fire.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops