"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Guess what? SHADAP

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Poop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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