what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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69.... is a number

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guess what?

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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