Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +68

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A hayride would be fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +34

America Votes

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops