Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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theres a fat guy

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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