Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops