SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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black

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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You're on fire.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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