What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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