How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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