Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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