How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

thumb_up thumb_down -130

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +51

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops