Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -83

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

shabalabadingdong JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops