A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I love you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

thumb_up thumb_down -139

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +86

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops