A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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what color is blue? green

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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