Poop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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