Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops