A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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