3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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