A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Lacrosse

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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