How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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69.... is a number

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Gay rights

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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my names jim haha

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops