Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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Lacrosse

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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69.... is a number

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops