Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

21

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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