A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Poop.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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