What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, you have small hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guess what? SHADAP

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops