How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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