what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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9/11

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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what color is blue? green

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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