How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Hey, you have small hands.

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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