What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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You're on fire.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops