So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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Poop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops