What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops