A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops