What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

This is a joke for Homeless people:

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...