William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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You're on fire.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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