Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Diana and victoria

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops