what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, you have small hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops