What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Liars go to hell! -God

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops