Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

Hey, you have small hands.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

Yo Mamma

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

my names jim haha

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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