What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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Womens Basketball.

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Yah? Well your a ********

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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Yo Mamma

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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