What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

a black guy with rights in 1924

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +20

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops