Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Poop.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A black man without problems.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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