What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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black

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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