What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

This is a joke for Homeless people:

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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