what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -88

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

666

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops