Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Womens Basketball.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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My nipple is bleeding

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops