why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops