what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Netball.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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