What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -31

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How Long is a Chinese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops