What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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