a man walked into a bar and said ow

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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pedophile

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops