Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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