What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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21

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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