Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

thumb_up thumb_down +95

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Womens Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +27

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yah? Well your a ********

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops