A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +122

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +48

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How Long is a Chinese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops