Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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your mom

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Netball.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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