What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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