Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops