Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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