I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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