A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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