How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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My nipple is bleeding

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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