Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Politics.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Diana and victoria

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what happens when you wake up inception

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops