What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +99

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Netball.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops