Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hi my name is Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -19

FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops