So a baby seal walks into a club.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Politics.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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