when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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