What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

black

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops