Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo Mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -92

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -114

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +119

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +73

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops