A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Diana and victoria

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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my names jim haha

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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YOLO

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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You're on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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