What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

Hey, you have small hands.

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

my names jim haha

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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