why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

I'm funny.

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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