What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

Poop.

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

21

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

I can see you under there. Under what?

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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