What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

21

thumb_up thumb_down +101

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops