knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -87

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -93

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops