how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -131

( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

thumb_up thumb_down +132

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

21

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops