In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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