Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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pussy enough said

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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i have cancer

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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