A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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