what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Knock knock

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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