Your mother is so fat.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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i like pie

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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