I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -2

And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -86

LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

thumb_up thumb_down -90

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -98

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops