Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +22

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy gets arrested...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My mom touched my wiener : \

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

thumb_up thumb_down

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Whats green and tasty? Snot

thumb_up thumb_down -60

LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops