Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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hi im paul!

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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clamidia

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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pussy enough said

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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