What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The white guy did it!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops