My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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2+2= 478

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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black

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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