Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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