And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

thumb_up thumb_down +44

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops