Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I like boys!!!!! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops