In Soviet Russia its very cold

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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clamidia

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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pussy enough said

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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