What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

Religion

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

What do apples taste like? Apples.

Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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