what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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i like pie

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Womens rights

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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