Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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your mom

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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