roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops