A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Hi my name is Bob

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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