whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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You're on fire.

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minorities

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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