Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops