why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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