- Anti Joke

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

equality for women

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

womens sports...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

I can see you under there. Under what?

clamidia

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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