How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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