you.

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

96

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

i like pie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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