What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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You're on fire.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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