What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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34

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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whats black. an african american person

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11111

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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