Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

LOL -LOL GUY

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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