What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +96

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Swag.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy gets arrested...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops