One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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96

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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