What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

your mom

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

Animal

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...