Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Your eye color is very unique.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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