Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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