Good to see you today!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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You're on fire.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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