A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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