What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +73

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops