There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -91

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +122

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops