Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Jesus wept.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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