A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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