What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops