You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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womens sports...

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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