What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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I like turtoes.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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