Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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