What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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A hayride would be fun.

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your mom

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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2+2= 478

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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