One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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