Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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minorities

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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