how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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