Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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girls basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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