Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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i have cancer

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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I like turtoes.

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Hi Adam,

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops