What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Miami Heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -65

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops