What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +31

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops