Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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