What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

A hayride would be fun.

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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