What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Itookasipasoda

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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