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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

Where did John go? Refrigerator

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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