What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

Nice legs....What time do they open?

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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