Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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9/11

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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equality for women

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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