What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +64

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops