Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Kony 2012

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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