A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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The NBA lockout

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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