What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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i like pie

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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