What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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