A baby seal walks into a club.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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The NBA lockout

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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