A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops