Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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Miami Heat.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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