What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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