Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Libraries.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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The NBA lockout

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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