what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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