What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Libraries.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Why? Because racecar.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops