Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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