Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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girls basketball

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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96

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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