Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down -77

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops