If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Why? Because racecar.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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