Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Christians

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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