There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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2+2= 478

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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