Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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