What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I like turtoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down -65

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

66

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops