What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The white guy did it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down

123457

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops