why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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lebron

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Kony 2012

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Sarah Palin

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Christians

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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