whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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66

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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