A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

66

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

96

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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