Miami Heat.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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11111

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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