I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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