What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops