What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +66

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops