Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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