- Anti Joke

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

What color is a banana? yellow.

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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