What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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LOL -LOL GUY

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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