What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

BUT HWY?

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Whats 9+10? 19

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

Knock knock

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

you know what they say... hydrate or die

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...