Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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The NBA lockout

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops