What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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