What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Miami Heat.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops