What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Womens rights

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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