Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

live or die you decide to late time to die

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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