What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Miami Heat.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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I like turtoes.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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