Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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