A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Libraries.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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equality for women

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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BUT HWY?

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clamidia

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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