Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Miami Heat.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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