A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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thumbs up!

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops