your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Miami Heat.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops