There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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96

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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