What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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