What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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