Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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The NBA lockout

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Obama 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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