My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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thumbs up!

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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