A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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