Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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The economy.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Jesus wept.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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thumbs up!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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