what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +142

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Arrow to the Knee

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops