a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Miami Heat.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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who farted i did :]

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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The NBA lockout

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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66

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Obama 2012

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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