Libraries.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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