I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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