What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Jesus wept.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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thumbs up!

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Arrow to the Knee

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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girls basketball

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clamidia

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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