Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops