What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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The NBA lockout

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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