A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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equality for women

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops