Arrow to the Knee

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The NBA lockout

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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BUT HWY?

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops