What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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The NBA lockout

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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