A baby seal walks into a club.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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The white guy did it!

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Your momma's so fat...

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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