What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

who farted i did :]

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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