so a baby seal walks into a club...

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hrih

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Itookasipasoda

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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