why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

How Long is a Chinese name.

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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