What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Christians

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Obama 2012

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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