A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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