why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops