How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -95

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Obama 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops