How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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