What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops