Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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123457

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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