*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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clamidia

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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