Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops