Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yee

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A Woman out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops