What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I went to the store and I fell

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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