Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Chikin nuggets

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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