Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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whats black. an african american person

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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