How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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A fat man on a moped

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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you.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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