What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Yee

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A man walks around a bar.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Why? Because racecar.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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