Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down -75

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops