Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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The Holocaust

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Women's Rights

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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