What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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