Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

How's your mum? she's dead..

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

womens sports...

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

You.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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