Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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lebron

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Obama 2012

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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