Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Hello, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops