roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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