What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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acuna

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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