I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Women's rights.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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whats black. an african american person

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops