A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Hi

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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