Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Dick Chaney

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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