Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

Jesus

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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lebron

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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