A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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lebron

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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