Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +62

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +36

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops