The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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