Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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whats black. an african american person

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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lebron

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Wumbo

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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