what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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pedophile

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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