It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -110

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops