Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Chikin nuggets

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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you.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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