Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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A man walks around a bar.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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I went to the store and I fell

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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acuna

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops