It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -163

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops