Obama 2012

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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