Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -17

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -143

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops