What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Women's Rights

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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whats black. an african american person

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Wumbo

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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