What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Jesus

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Obama 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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