what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

Why? Because racecar.

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

I went to the store and I fell

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

Chikin nuggets

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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