What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Jesus

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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you.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Obama 2012

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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