What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Gale swallows.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops