why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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