How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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You.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Hi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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acuna

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Women's rights.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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lebron

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womens sports...

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Wumbo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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