Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

Chikin nuggets

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why? Because racecar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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