When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

The Holocaust

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

Religion

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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