Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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The Holocaust

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Chikin nuggets

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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I went to the store and I fell

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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