What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Obama 2012

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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