what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Arrow to the Knee

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A man walks around a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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