What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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