What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

thumb_up thumb_down -1

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops