Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops