What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Yee

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Obama 2012

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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