I can see you under there. Under what?

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Dick Chaney

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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