Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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