My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Jesus

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Good to see you today!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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