whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops