What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Sarah Palin

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops