On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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