Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What rhymes with you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops