Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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