What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Arrow to the Knee

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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