What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

thumb_up thumb_down +16

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops