Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Whats 9+10? 19

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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