Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dick Chaney

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

69.9

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

thumb_up thumb_down -27

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops