Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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