John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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nick toth

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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