What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Gale swallows.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Chikin nuggets

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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