what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Dick Chaney

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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56

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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lebron

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Women's rights.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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