What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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