Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

Good to see you today!

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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