How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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