I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Knock knock

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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