Dick Chaney

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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56

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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lebron

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Women's rights.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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