On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Gale swallows.

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Sarah Palin

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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