Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

Dick Chaney

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

how do you make a joke act like yourself

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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