Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Knock knock

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops