I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

nick toth

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

What rhymes with you? You.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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