What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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nick toth

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Sarah Palin

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Dick Chaney

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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