What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A man buys free health care...

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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69.9

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops