Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

Why? Because racecar.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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