Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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69.9

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acuna

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Women's Rights

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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