What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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i was molested.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops