This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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69.9

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acuna

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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