Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Women's Rights

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops