What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Knock knock

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

nick toth

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

What rhymes with you? You.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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