whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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