FIRE!!

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

34

The meme walks out of the bar.

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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