Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops