What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Women's Rights

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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what the hell happened to your face

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops