My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Religion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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