Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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America Votes

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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