- Anti Joke

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

nick toth

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

56

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

Good to see you today!

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops