Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops