Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Women's Rights

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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i was molested.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops