(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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i was molested.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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