a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Sarah Palin

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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