How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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America Votes

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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