Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

56

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

thumb_up thumb_down -45

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops