What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i was molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +70

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is not funny? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops