How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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