What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

what is not funny? This joke.

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

Oh look, I've found my knife

i was molested.

A Woman out of the kitchen

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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