What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

how do you make a joke act like yourself

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

Gale swallows.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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