Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Religion

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Yee

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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