How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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America Votes

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops