What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

how do you make a joke act like yourself

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

Gale swallows.

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

Sarah Palin

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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