How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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