Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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acuna

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Women's Rights

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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