What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Gale swallows.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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America Votes

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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FIRE!!

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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