Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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