Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

Yee

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

what the hell happened to your face

(insert antijoke here

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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