Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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