When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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penis

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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