Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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women's rights

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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