A Woman out of the kitchen

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Sarah Palin

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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