what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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