What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops