guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

Women's Rights

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

56

make me a sandwich!

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

Knock, Knock The door's open

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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