you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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