You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Women's Rights

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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