Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops