What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -118

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -122

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what the hell happened to your face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops