What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Women's rights.

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Women's Rights

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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