A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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I've got a boner

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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