teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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my bubbles!

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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