Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

Oh look, I've found my knife

26.5% of Americans are obese.

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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