There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Women's Rights

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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