What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The meme walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -43

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -117

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops