why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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