Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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FIRE!!

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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