Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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FIRE!!

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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