Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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women's rights

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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