"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock, Knock The door's open

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A BABY seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops