How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +152

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i was molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

thumb_up thumb_down -40

So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops