What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +107

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -111

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops