what is not funny? This joke.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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