FIRE!!

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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