What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

26.5% of Americans are obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -161

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops