Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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acuna

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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