What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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