Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

56

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

thumb_up thumb_down +152

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops