America Votes

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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