What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +96

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +26

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What rhymes with you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -78

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops