Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -45

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops