Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops