A Woman out of the kitchen

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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acuna

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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