Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Dick Chaney

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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