When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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I've got a boner

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make me a sandwich!

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Women's Rights

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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what the hell happened to your face

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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my bubbles!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops