Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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What rhymes with you? You.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops