- Anti Joke

What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

penis

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

someone called a frog a frog

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

nick toth

What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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