if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops