Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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The Colts this year.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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