What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

So a baby seal walks into a club.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

The Colts this year.

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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