what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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what the hell happened to your face

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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nick toth

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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