If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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my bubbles!

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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what the hell happened to your face

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Women's Rights

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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