what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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