There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Sarah Palin

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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what the hell happened to your face

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops