What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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