Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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