Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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