What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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34

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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