What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops