Hey Tim lets think of a joke

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

FIRE!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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