What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops