How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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17

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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