An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Religion

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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America Votes

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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