What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Chikin nuggets

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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I've got a boner

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Kony 2012

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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