What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops