What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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make me a sandwich!

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops