What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops