How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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make me a sandwich!

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops